I figure it's my turn to win some or learn some...

I drove across the country.

I moved in with a buddy in Portland, OR

I walk or bike somewhere everyday.

I don't drink soda.

I do drink organic milk.

I spend most of my time with hippies.

I gave blood for the first time ever.

I'm learning how to cook, slowly.

I'm learning how to play the guitar, even more slowly.

I have a few books and my clothes with me and that's all.

I got really sick when I tried to eat fast food.

I haven't watched tv aside from the Yankees game at the bar in over three weeks.

I hiked approx. 5 miles roundtrip up a mountain.

I saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time.

I've been gone from home for about three times longer than I ever had been before.

When I list it all it sounds pretty good. It sure sounds like I'm doing something. I can't begin to explain the weirdness of life right now. But maybe the weirdest thing is that it doesn't really feel that weird. There's a certain feeling I was expecting, like walking around downtown Portland I expected to just stop and say Oh my God I'm in Portland. But it hasn't happened. Look at the list, it's definitely alot of new and different stuff. But living here, being here, feels similar. I feel similar. I miss my family and friends with a passion I didn't know I had until I got here, but personally I feel the same.

I didn't feel the same on the road out. On the way out here I was an adventurer. I was an explorer, and ignoring the millions of other people, I was covering unchartered territory. Taming the west one empty state at a time. I came, I saw, I conquered the hell out of places. I made Montana my bitch. I waded the Mississippi. I leveled the Rocky Mountains. I stood on top of the mountains of the Badlands, spun in a circle to see all the world, and decided life was good.

Here I need a job. Here I need a registration, gas, an oil change, food, clothes, all that. It's real life, and it's good. I'm enjoying it, don't get me wrong. But nothing has touched the freedom of that drive yet, and my heart still longs to be aiming for the horizon. I am in love with going. Somewhere, anywhere, I can. I want to see it. I want to look eye to eye with George Washington, and I have. I want to swim in the oceans, and I have. I want to do more, and damnit I will.

Somehow, when I can, I will. Or i'll die trying. That's all for now.

tjq